Lost(Found): A solemn loop

(This content has no head and toe to be very honest

Merge of some contradictory thoughts

Just a mere conversation in my head

Answering the questions raised by me to myself )

A solemn loop of losing and finding while life is slipping up and versions are fading..

We all go through it,

I would prefer to say "We are going through it"

I am standing watching the horizon;

Where eye meets the cold shivering waves

with the warmth radiating through the eternal sky

Is it the end or a beginning?

There's always more than what meets the eye...

Well the two eyes each one of us have might see things differently but the problem is that the same pair of eyes I behold, sees same things differently every time I glance at it...

:  The world outside is too vast to explore but what's larger is the one inside

   I hate to be perceived as a shallow being with no depth inside so I seek peace;

   I seek perseverance; I seek those infinite grandiose mysteries of the universe;

   I seek to defy the nature of time and experience world all at once;

   I seek a purpose, a meaning ....

:  But then I go and lose it again;

   Then, remains a body who only thinks about futility of being born as a human.

   Every faith I had in me led me astray, so I suddenly happen to loathe it (this life),

   I might see myself as a piece of a puzzle weird and scattered but with a puzzle, I am at least aware

   that the bigger final picture is there..

   But with life, nothing's certain,

   Even if I weave myself into a cocoon, I may not turn into a butterfly after all..

So, Does life make sense?

Or is it just a bunch of random experiences,

Do these random experience together make a purpose?

And if it does, is the purpose worth living for?

The desire to understand is an infinite hole 🕳 while the desire to be understood is a greater abyss...

Life is too long to survive but too short to live,

So if everyone knew what they were made for, would life be worthy enough to be called as life?

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But sometimes when I think about it, I feel it's a privilege to be lost,

Because If I was never lost,

Would I have spent hours dwelling in the possibilities,

Would I have ever found the branches?

Would I have ever painted the shades?

Would I have ever tried to find myself ?

In a journey I am walking, on a road of finding, 

I am finally learning to create after all...(a not so generic life I guess)...

At the end, I am continuously moving through a loop of losing and finding myself or probably just collecting every pieces inside me mounting it up,

So, rather than searching for one particular answer, I shall do poetical justice to my soul and experience myself first of all....

I am not wise enough to say this but instead of questioning my existence everyday, I might as well be the answer to it..

~A wave in the ocean 

  fading yet recurring again

  into infinity;

~A flame of a candle

  burning and melting away;

~In pieces I am

  solving myself;

~I won't say I bleed in paper

  but instead we exchange glances

  even through the teary eyes;

~I am in fact a stray

  betwixt; an animal and human

                a beginning and an ending..